How to Survive (and Thrive) at a Bacon Festival
The experience of attending a bacon festival can be overwhelming. Typically the primary activities of such an event are 1) eating bacon and 2) consuming alcohol. Without a strategy for pacing yourself throughout the day, things can quickly go awry.
Following are a few tips to follow, should you find yourself in possession of a ticket to a future bacon festival.
1. Stomach Prep. Fasting in advance is not a good strategy. You’ll just be starving by the time you arrive at the festival and will potentially overeat too early in the day. You also don’t want to start drinking booze at 10 am on an empty stomach – nothing good can come of that. The best approach is to eat normal meals the day before – maybe with a few extra vegetables – but don’t feel like you need to avoid bacon, that would just be silly. Arrive at the event with a healthy appetite, and pace yourself throughout the day. You may be forced to pace yourself anyway if you encounter lines, but the lines are an opportunity to commune with fellow members of the Bacon Nation. Alternate food samples with beverages and spread the experience over several hours so you can savor every delicious bite of bacon.
2. Attire. There is no such thing as inappropriate attire at a bacon festival. Pretty much anything goes including pig costumes, snouts, bacon shoes, custom-made bacon suits/dresses…however you like to express your love of bacon, you’ll fit right in. The average person will be wearing at least one pig or bacon related item of clothing – most commonly a t-shirt – but let your bacon flag fly when selecting your outfit. Just be sure to wear something comfortable – particularly shoes – as you’ll be on your feet for most of the day. And elastic waistbands are always a good idea when bacon is involved.
3. Water. It’s easy to get lost in the sea of bacon and booze that’s served up at a bacon festival. But you’ll be more likely to survive the entire day – and maybe even make it to the after parties – if you are properly hydrated.
4. Stay Buzzed, Don’t Get Sloppy. Time flies when you’re at a bacon festival, several hours of eating bacon and drinking cocktails goes by surprisingly fast. Enjoy your beverages, but don’t be a hot mess. It’s likely that the event will be crowded, but attending a bacon festival is all about fellowship, so don’t be the ass hat no one wants to bond with.