Following is an email exchange I had with a friend earlier today:
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Friend: I met someone that HATES bacon. Like has a passion just as strong as yours, but AGAINST the bacon. This person even said to me, “bacon is what’s wrong with America.”
Me: Are they mentally ill?
Friend: Specifically he was telling me about how when he goes to Chili’s, they have bacon on everything, and then when you ask for it without bacon it’s a 50/50 chance that there will be extra bacon since they are “bacon happy.” The specific example was bacon in clam chowder. And then he said: “clam chowder is clam chowder, there should not be a pig in it.”
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This exchange makes me want to head to the nearest Chili’s RIGHT NOW for a Smokehouse Bacon Triple-the-Cheese Big Mouth Burger (extra thick-cut applewood smoked bacon triple-layered with smoked cheddar, Swiss and provolone cheeses, sauteed onions, shredded lettuce, tomato, pickle, jalapeno-ranch dressing. Served with jalapeno-ranch dressing).
THAT’S what is RIGHT with America. God Bless the U.S.A.